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The Second Coming of Saturn
An Astrologer's Journal of the 2nd Saturn Return
From Eileen Grimes
Editor's Note: What we call in astrology the Saturn return is when transiting Saturn meets our natal Saturn. Saturn's cycle is 29.5 years, making the first Saturn Return around 30 years, and the second in the late fifties.
From author Eileen Grimes:
Sobering event, yes. And yet, very illuminating and freeing. I am choosing to view this rite of passage as a blessing, not a burden. This is the second Saturn return. I’ve been awaiting this event for a while now, viewing its approach from afar with trepidation and concern. I’ve been in the habit of watching Saturn’s events unfold in my own life in the past 20 years or so, and have noted that the insights and change usually come with some serious hard knocks.
I want my second return to be notable with a lot of lessons completed and learned, and with new avenues of experience being rich and vital. The more willing I am to go through the eye of the hurricane, the more empowering it will be.
First, there seems to be a lot of reflecting, and a serious desire to travel back in time to when there was less stress and responsibility. I have been revisiting old memories, good and painful, over the last little while. However, there seems to be more of a contentment as to how things are now. The maturity that has come with this transit seems to be invaluable, and I’m seeing that sweating over the small stuff just isn’t worth it anymore. I feel secure in the abilities and gifts I have, and will, I am sure, have new ways of using them as this transit moves forward.
But before I could really move forward, I had to look back...
The first Saturn return coincided with my entering some new professional arenas. I had spent most of my 20s in a kind of extention of my college years; in fact I had gone back to school at an arts college to further my performing experience. When the first return came in 1981, I realised I had to get down to work, and left a lot of fantasies about my being a professional performer behind. I was married two years later after I had settled down in a profession.
I remember the feeling at that time of leaving behind a part of me that I could no longer maintain. The maturation process, for me during that time, was serious business, and a bit sad too. I had a romantic soul, and had lovely romantic experiences along the way, but at the age of 29, I felt like I had to get down to business.
The first Saturn return, the maturation process that prepares us for our upcoming working/professional life kicks in. At that time, the individual will discover their own work ethic. The real purpose of the first Saturn return, is finding out just what we’re good at, and how those gifts can be packaged and marketed as workable skills that will be of use to us and our employers. This certainly pertains to the work life, but in general, the individual is learning about their own work process, setting goals and achievements, ultimately leading to my favorite Saturnian term, mastery.
Mastery is a learned experience of confidence in our own competence: when one is faced in calling upon all levels of experience to handle a situation from its inception to completion, with impeccable, and unimpeachable, expertise.
The Second Coming. Since I am at the beginning of this particular life-event (the official time period of a Saturn return is about nine months - for me it will be from November 2010-August 2011), there have been some notably interesting experiences, both wonderful and very sad. I lost a best friend which was very difficult, but directly after I released a long-time situation that had me angry, off and on, for the last 14 years. With the loss of a friend, came a release of something else that I no longer wanted to carry around with me. Door closed, window opened.
I am also finding out that I changed my relationship with my hair. I made a conscious decision to “come out gray” as an homage to my Saturn return. I realize it seems a rather superficial thing to do, but given I have a rather obsessive/codependent view of my own hair (Leo rising) it became more significant. I am sensing that the lessons I am learning from this loss have to do with letting go of the unimportant things in life.
The interesting comments are that I seem younger to people than I did before. We always think of gray as something that ages us, but its not that way, really. It's just becoming who we are at this age - and with that, there is casting off a lot of pretense, so that it does actually feel like I am younger, because I don’t care about the small stuff anymore.
It is interesting that in the previous return, I was looking for myself, professionally, and now at the 2nd return, I’ve found myself professionally. Having stated that simply - there is a greater sense of who I am, and who I’m not, and what I do well, and don’t do well. That process has been illuminating and positive. I also see things, down the pike, that might be new avenues of professional exploration.
Right now, at the beginning of this transit, I’m considering them, but not am interested in rushing anything. The key to Saturn is don’t rush, take the time needed to look at everything from all angles, and determine if its feasible to make it work, professionally and personally.